During his time in Vietnam, Roy C. Raisor found himself struggling with something that seemed simple but was not: writing home. His family wanted to know how he was doing, but Roy did not want his mother and brothers to know what he was actually experiencing.
He had not written because he felt that he had nothing to say. More importantly, he did not want to share his experiences with his family. His correspondence had stopped, but he did not realize how much that silence could worry the people waiting for news from him.
The Company Commander Steps In
Eventually, Roy was called into the company commander’s office. The commander asked why he was not writing letters to people at home.
Roy explained honestly that he did not want his mother and family to know what he was going through. The commander then told him that he had received reports from the Red Cross that Roy had not been writing home.
The commander gave Roy paper and a pencil and instructed him to write several letters before lunch. He wanted Roy to write to his mother, his younger brothers, and his older brother who was back home.
The commander also gave Roy an important choice. He did not have to tell his family how bad things were or explain exactly how he felt. His family simply wanted to know that he was alive and okay.
Keeping the Letters Positive
Roy sat down and began writing. He admitted that the letters were not difficult to write because he simply did not tell the truth about what was happening.
In his letter to his mother, he kept everything positive. He told her that everything was good, that he had put on some weight, that he was eating well, and that he had clean uniforms. He also explained that he was kept active and was moving from camp to camp as a radio operator.
This correspondence gave Roy a way to reassure his mother without describing the difficult conditions around him.
He understood that his mother was worried. He believed that she had probably contacted the Red Cross because she wanted information about her son. Looking back, Roy recognized why she would have been concerned.
Writing to His Brothers
Roy also wrote to his younger brothers. Instead of telling them about the realities he was experiencing, he asked about their schooling and encouraged them to think about what they wanted to become in life.
He also warned them about Vietnam. They might want to see the jungle or travel across the world, but Roy told them that Vietnam was not a place they wanted to see. He described it as beat up, dirty, and really hot.
His letters therefore carried more than information. They carried advice from an older brother who was experiencing something his younger brothers could not fully understand.
The Letter to a School Friend
The company commander asked Roy whether there was anyone else he should write to. Roy remembered a girl he had gone to school with who had written him a letter.
The commander encouraged Roy to write back and let her know that he appreciated her letter. Roy returned to the desk and wrote her a two-page letter. He thanked her for writing and talked about memories they shared from school. He also told her that he enjoyed getting mail and would appreciate hearing from her again.
Roy admitted that he again avoided telling the whole truth. He said that they did not always have access to paper and pencil because they were in the jungle.
Understanding the Silence
Looking back, Roy felt guilty that he had lied to his mother. At the same time, he believed that keeping the subjects positive helped put her mind at ease.
He had wanted to protect her from worry. He did not want her imagining everything he was experiencing. But he later realized that by not writing at all, he had actually given her more reason to worry.
That realization gives his correspondence with his family a deeper meaning. The letters were not simply updates from a soldier. They were Roy’s way of maintaining a connection with home while trying to protect the people he loved.
A Connection Across the Distance
Roy completed four pages to his mother and three pages to each of his brothers. The company sergeant sealed the letters, placed stamps on them, and put them in the mailbox.
Soon afterward, Roy was told that he would be flying out with his unit that night. He went to the PX to get supplies for himself and things for his friends before leaving.
For Roy, correspondence became one of the few ways to remain connected with the family he had left behind. Even when he could not tell them everything, he could still write, reassure them, ask about their lives, and let them know that he was alive. Those letters became a small but important connection between his life in Vietnam and the family waiting for him at home.
For more about Roy’s story and latest updates, visit his official website: Roy C. Raisor. Get your copy of his memoir here on Amazon: Boy to Man in 365 Days.
